On Verbal Abuse

About seven years ago I was advised to read a book which literally changed my life.  The name of the book isAbuso Verbal(The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Susan Forward).  It taught me not only how to identify and respond to this type of abuse, but also how to deal with and how to end it.  It seems like as a society, we are aware and against physical repression (violence, sexual harassment, etc.), but we are not as aware of the psychological repression which occurs far more frequently (verbal and emotional abuse).

TYPES OF VERBAL ABUSE

The book explains how verbal abuse is disguised in other types of indirect repression. Verbal Abuse goes far beyond a direct insult or explosive episodes of rage (aggression).  Glacial indifference, sarcasm, mockery, destructive criticism, arrogance, coldness, devaluing and rejection are all types of verbal abuse.
I wanted to write about this today because I have been verbally attacked recently by individuals who -due to their insecurities- react abusively (sometimes aggressively) when facing rejection.  I won't go into detail about specific situations, I just hope to bring awareness so that victims can understand that we don't need to be called a "whore" to realize we're being verbally abused.
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ON DIRECT VERBAL ABUSE

I do not claim to be an expert on the topic, so I suggest you do your own research.  If you are directly being insulted and attacked, just remember that defending yourself is validating the insults.  Ignoring and walking away from a violent situation is sometimes the best option.  Other people's opinions of us should not become our realities, and we shouldn't go out of our ways to make them understand that their definitions of us are not accurate.   It's not about winning or losing an argument... but remember that no matter what, the moment we lose control of our emotions (anger, for example) is when we lose.

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Please seek knowledge about this and protect yourself if you find yourself confused and/or emotionally hurt. These types of verbal abuse are especially dangerous because they are not obvious, but their emotional damage can be cruelly intense and very difficult to overcome.

Aggressors tend to be insecure, but not necessarily conscious of it.  Many consider themselves confident when in reality feel threaten or intimidated by someone else who either has a higher capacity of developing and controlling their emotions, or when they are more knowledgeable or intelligent than they are.

To those individuals (aggressors), I hope this reaches out to you and makes you a little more self-conscious about the things you need to work on.  No one deserves to be verbally abused; we don't give this topic enough importance and seems like we focus more on the physical abuse because of the apparent consequences, but we forget that the emotional wounds are way more difficult to heal than those physical ones; they can also be just as, if not more painful.  If anybody out there is reading this and can relate -either as a victim or the aggressor- feel free to contact me -or better yet- do your own personal research on the matter to not only educate yourself, but change yourself or the situation you're in.  You're welcome to share your thoughts or experiences on here as well.

Being aware is the first step on stopping the perpetuation of verbal abuse.

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"Ignorance does not justify oppression... It only makes it possible." - Susan Forward