Cuando?

Cuando apreciamos el valor de la vida?
~Cuando contemplamos o enfrentamos la tragedia de la muerte.

Cuando apreciamos verdaderamente la felicidad? 
~ Cuando comprendemos que se compone de momentos efimeros de dicha.

Cuando valoramos la bondad de los demas? 
~ Cuando somos afligidos o heridos por el orgullo de nuestros agresores. 


Cuando concedemos el perdon y la tolerancia?
~ Cuando cometemos errores que desenlazan relaciones humanas.

Cuando maduramos?
~ Cuando perdemos... cuando nos encontramos a nosotros mismos... solos en la vida.

Cuando cambiamos al mundo?
~ Cuando amamos con genuina entrega

Cuando crecemos?
~ Cuando aceptamos que somos pequenos, y eternos deudores y nos humillamos

History is Not Destiny

A few days ago I contemplated the idea that in times of vulnerability, we opt to expose ourselves in different, not necessarily destructive ways.  It might be because our loneliness impulses us to express ourselves more openly to perhaps connect with others who might be able to relate to us, therefore achieving a connection or affirmation that we are not alone after all. 

Be that as it may, there are others who do the exact opposite and build walls or close up emotionally to protect themselves from potential judgments. Or we can do a combination of the two. I guess where I am going with this is the realization that I am, -as many others out there are- on a quest to invent myself, to earn self-worth and and to find the courage to maintain an adequate self-esteem. 

Anyway, exposed or not, I realize I’ve limited myself from growing or overcoming insecurities and obstacles with the excuse that my past hurts and negative experiences have traumatized me, changed me and brought me down. The cause is not an excuse. 

So, as I always tell my blog readers: be aware that the majority of my blogs are not logical, they are more like an abstract art, learn to appreciate it and respect it. There are those types of blogs that must not be taken literally; there are those in which I have to write as if it was about my personal experience, when in actuality are based on someone else’s experience(s). I am not afraid to expose myself in ways in which I feel are constructive to others. I understand that I am not always positive when I write, but in every sad poem or writing of mine, there is a hope-inviting line. I hope those who read what I write take the time to read between the lines, not only to get to know me –since this isn’t exactly my mission- but to induce some personal insight that may benefit them.

More than explaining myself, I am trying to make people realize that before we judge others, we must strive to understand what is behind their behavior.  Developing empathy and understanding of other people's needs helps us grow as individuals. 
 

I am getting a little off the subject, my apologies. Back to saving our self-esteem! Yaaaay! LOL. My initial point of this blog was to introduce something I read and loved. So, without further a due, here it is:

“Past hurts don’t excuse present cowardice.”

“I am not denying the negative impact of early family crises, disruption, or destructiveness. History is not destiny. You have free will to overcome, grow, change: Invent yourself.”

(both quotes are from Dr. Laura Schlessinger)

That's it! hahahaha... Thanks for reading...
Share your thoughts, let's help each other!

Don't Let Me Wake Up!

I don’t want to be awake in the silence of this emptiness

So many things were said, some left unsaid, now lost and gone

Slipping through my fingers, you fade away, my dreams along

Don’t let me believe I can hold on

God, please don’t let me

Don't let me open my eyes to grief dead memories

Of when he kissed me, touched me, held me, please don’t wake me!

I wish I could erase the things we said, turn around and walk away

Rest is my peace when I have nothing else to walk for

No love, no words, seems like there’s just nothing else

Long day it feels like, until I fall asleep

As I lay there and give in, as I forget, I can forgive

Don't let me wake up and gain remembrance

I want eternal sleep, grant me some quiet darkness

Where I can dream of something else, whatever else would do

Let it be nightmares, dreams, it could be dull

Let me sleep away the feelings of regret

Give my eyes some peace, if I sleep my cry might end

And if I wake up, let me find another reason

Wake me up to a new day, a new sunshine, a new season

The love we had was out of this world rare!

I realize perhaps it wasn’t mean to last

If my feast of blessings has come due to be paid

Let me pay it quick, and then sleep away my awful fate

Don't let me wake up, to know I’ll never get my kiss

Knowing that I fought for this, but couldn’t win

Don’t let me wake up to face this living hell

Knowing that I love him, but will never have him again

Mujer

WWWwow.  So, I got this poem in an email, read it once, fell in love, almost cried.  It just touched my heart and reminded me a little of Neruda and the way I'd love to write some day.  Oh, for you who don't speak Spanish, try the translator; I doubt it will transmit the message with the same power or impact -it never does- but maybe you'll get an idea.  It was written by Xah Olg.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Por los derechos fundamentales de la mujer.

Por la igualdad entre hombres y mujeres

Vengo desde el ayer
desde el pasado oscuro y olvidado
con las manos atadas por el tiempo
con la boca sellada desde épocas remotas.

Vengo cargada de dolores antiguos,
recogidos por siglos, arrastrando
cadenas largas e indestructibles.

Vengo desde la oscuridad del pozo del olvido
con el silencio a cuestas,
con el miedo ancestral que ha corroído mi alma
desde el principio de los tiempos.

Vengo de ser esclava por milenios,
esclava de maneras diferentes:
sometida al deseo de mi raptor en Persia,
esclavizada en Grecia bajo el poder romano,
convertida en vestal en las tierras de Egipto,
ofrecida a los dioses en ritos milenarios
vendida en el desierto
o canjeada como una mercancía.

Vengo de ser apedreada por adúltera
en las calles de Jerusalén por una turba de hipócritas,
pecadores de todas las especies
que clamaban al cielo mi castigo.

He sido mutilada en muchos pueblos
para privar mi cuerpo de placeres
y convertida en animal de carga
trabajadora y paridora de especie
Me han violado sin límite
en todos los rincones del planeta
sin que cuente mi edad madura o tierna
o importe mi color o mi estatura

Debí servir ayer a los señores
prestarme a sus deseos, entregarme
donarme, destruirme, olvidarme de ser una entre miles.

He sido barragana de un señor en Castilla
esposa de un marqués y concubina
de un comerciante griego,
prostituta en Bombay y en Filipinas
y siempre ha sido igual mi tratamiento

De unos y de otros siempre esclava
de unos y de otros dependiente,
menor de edad en todos los asuntos,
invisible en la historia mas lejana
y olvidada en la historia mas reciente

Yo no tuve la luz del alfabeto
durante siglos aboné con mis lágrimas
la tierra que debí cultivar desde mi infancia.
He recorrido el mundo en millares de vidas
que me han sido entregadas una a una.
Y he conocido a todos los hombres del planeta.
Los grandes y pequeños,
los bravos y cobardes,
los viles, los honestos,
los buenos, los terribles.

Más casi todos llevan la marca de los tiempos.
Unos manejan vidas como amos y señores,
asfixian, aprisionan y aniquilan.
Otros dejan almas
comercian con ideas, asustan o seducen,
manipulan y oprimen.

Yo los conozco a todos,
estuve cerca de unos y de otros,
sirviendo cada día,recogiendo migajas,
bajando la cerviz a cada paso,
cumpliendo con mi karma.

He recorrido todos los caminos
he arañado paredes y ensayado silencios
tratando de cumplir con el mandato
de ser como ellos quieren
más no lo he conseguido.

Jamás se permitió que yo escogiera
el rumbo de mi vida.
He caminado siempre en una disyuntiva
ser santa o prostituta.
He conocido el odio de los inquisidores
que a nombre de la santa madre iglesia
condenaron mi cuerpo a su servicio
y a las infames llamas de la hoguera.

Me han llamado de múltiples maneras:
bruja,loca, adivina, pervertida, aliada de satán,
esclava de la carne, seductora, ninfómana
culpable de los males de la tierra.
Pero seguí viviendo, arando,
cosechando, cosiendo,
construyendo, cocinando, tejiendo,
curando, protegiendo, pariendo,
criando, amamantando, cuidando
y sobre todo amando.

He poblado la tierra de amos y de esclavos,
de ricos y mendigos, de genios y de idiotas,
pero todos tuvieron el calor de mi vientre,
mi sangre y su alimento
y se llevaron un poco de mi vida.

Logré sobrevivir a la conquista
brutal y despiadada de Castilla
en las tierras de América
pero perdí mis dioses y mi tierra
y mi vientre parió gente mestiza
después que el amo me tomó por la fuerza.

Y en este continente mancillado
proseguí mi existencia
cargada de dolores cotidianos,
negra y esclava en medio de la hacienda
me vi obligada a recibir al amo
cuantas veces quisiera
sin poder expresar ninguna queja.

Después fui costurera, campesina
sirvienta, labradora, madre de muchos hijos miserables,
vendedora ambulante, curandera,
cuidadora de niños o de ancianos,
artesana de manos prodigiosas,
tejedora, bordadora, obrera,
maestra, secretaria, enfermera.

Siempre sirviendo a todos,
convertida en abeja o sementera
cumpliendo las tareas mas ingratas
moldeada como cántaro por las manos ajenas.

Y un día me dolí de mis angustias
un día me cansé de mis trajines,
abandoné el desierto y el océano,
bajé de la montaña, atravesé las selvas y confines
y convertí mi voz dulce y tranquila,
en bocina del viento
en grito universal y enloquecido.

Y convoqué a la viuda, a la casada,
a la mujer del pueblo, a la soltera,
a la madre angustiada, a la fea,
a la recien parida, a la violada,
a la triste, a la callada, a la hermosa,
a la pobre, a la afligida, a la ignorante,
a la fiel, a la engañada, a la prostituída.

Vinieron miles de mujeres juntas
a escuchar mis arengas,
se habló de los dolores milenarios,
a las largas cadenas que los siglos nos cargaron a cuestas.
Y formamos con todas nuestras quejas
un caudaloso río que empezó a correr el universo
ahogando la injusticia y el olvido.

El mundo se quedó paralizado
los hombres y mujeres no caminaron
se pararon las máquinas, los tornos,
los grandes edificios y las fábricas
ministerios y hoteles, talleres y oficinas,
hospitales y tiendas, hogares y cocinas.

Las mujeres por fin, lo descubrimos.
¡ Somos tan poderosas como ellos
y somos muchas más sobre la tierra!
¡ Más que el silencio y más que el sufrimiento!
¡ Más que la infamia y más que la miseria!

Que este canto resuene en las lejanas tierras de Indochina
en las arenas cálidas del Africa, en Alaska
y en América Latina,
llamando a la igualdad entre los géneros
a construir un mundo solidario
distinto, horizontal, sin poderíos
a conjugar ternura, paz y vida,
a beber de la ciencia sin distingos
A derrotar el odio y los prejuicios,
el poder de unos pocos,
las mezquinas fronteras,
a amasar con las manos de ambos sexos
el pan de la existencia.

Xah Olg

Romance is Art

Let us be romantic today that we feel love

Corny, cheesy, lacking sense or logic

Who cares how we describe it?

Just those who are closed minded

Those who root their beliefs on the tangible

Lacking as well the balance of the soul

Romance is an art form

A creative way of expression

Imagination

Far from literal

More like magical

We can call it beauty

We can call it bliss

While they call it idiocy

or a useless thing

They advice to keep our feet grounded

We look up and fly and forever wonder

Enjoying the unexplored

Exploring the joy

Romance is Art

Let's just let it be

Logic is boring sometimes

Redundant, lethargic

Logic is still

Romance is Art

Doors are open to adventures

Adventures who might come to an end

Why not just dream

Not worrying about the truth

The logic of it all

Romance is Art

Abstract in itself

Incomprehensible

Let's just let it be

You're Beautiful

No... I didn't know I was beautiful for a very long time.  I carried along a bag full of heavy insecurities;  will I spend time exposing them and explaining their roots?  No.  It isn't worth it to focus on the reasons why negative things come about.  What I want to write about is why I know I, and you... why we are beautiful.

I have to go to work soon so I won't write too much.  The thought just came to my mind.  I would say one of my gifts in life is that whenever I meet someone or know of someone who is struggling with personal/emotional issues... I find something in which I can relate to them.

My point about beauty is... You know you are beautiful the moment that you learn to accept and love yourself despite your imperfections.  Does that mean you'll shout out how much you love yourself, how perfect you are, for others to try to believe you?  No.  It's just a simple insight abour yourself when you think, "You know what, I like what I see, I love what I think, I represent what I say." 

True beauty shines out, you can't hide it, but it doesn't come from makeup or clothes, it comes from the spark in your eyes of knowing that you are beautiful inside, that although you consider appearance important and you love yourself enough to take care of yourself by being clean and classy, you know the true beauty comes from within.  Your thoughts, your ideas, your jokes, your insights, your perceptions, your opinions, your feelings towards others, your willingness to help, to love, to respect... those are qualities that will bring the spark to your eyes, the smile to your face; a radiance that cannot be denied... beauty that can be seen and appreciated even in those bodies others might consider imperfect.

The eyes are the windows to the soul... or so they say... and how true is that?  But... You can't see through anything if your own windows aren't clean.  Let's learn to appreciate true beauty by working on our inner beauty ourselves.  Love for others, respect, consideration, compassion... Oh so many things I want to do and know about, and work on or continue to work on... to Know that I am truly beautiful.

Like my friend Erika posted on her status comment... this quote is very true and impactful to me.

"[Physical] beauty gets attention... Personality captures hearts."

Leave a comment... Share your thoughts
!

Sublime

Not at a lot of people you'll come accross in life will have the power, gift or priviledge of making you experience so many different emotions in such a short period of time.  If you ever meet one who will touch your heart in such a way that you cry without restrain, knowing that you are safe and you can open up to them... that's a person you want to cherish and keep in your life forever.  More so if in a matter of minutes, they can make you travel from a joyful emotional state of mind to an excitement state... where you literally feel your blood flowing fast through your body, through every limb, making you crave his very existance close to yours; making you want to take off running so fast, or scream at the top of your lungs.  Or feel that knot on your throat like you won't be able to articulate even the simplest words to tell him how much he means to you.  The one responsible for that kind of energy you feel, like adrenaline, or an overdose of endorphins just taking you out of this world in a state of bliss.  To then land... -no, I mean- crash, into a state of peace and calmness... sublime.  Isn't this the kind of best friend, lover, and companion you'd want to hold on to forever?  Yes.  Yes indeed.  The one who surpasses all your expectations... the one you know you don't have to be too careful with... because you know his character, you know the essence of his soul, and the kindness in his heart.  The one who you can trust unconditionally because he is your family, your home, your safe haven; and you know that for a fact.  He wants the best for you and he could never hurt you.  Not only can you trust him, but to top things off... you realize that you mean to him just as much as he means to you.  He cares for you, as you care for him.  He craves you, just as much as you crave for him.  It's unimaginable... even these lines don't do justice to the sentiment.  I can only imagine the places he could take me to, for I have seen a preview of what he's capable of.  I am just in awe, when I think of him, and his hands, and his lips and his... everything.  I am in shock to realize he wants to be with me, he wants to stay with me and walk along with me.  This is crazy... I never thought I'd find someone in the same wavelength.  Is this real?  It must be, because dreams or illusions don't last this long and they don't have the 'feet and legs' to run this fast.  This is just the beginning... and it scares me to think that I have seen nothing yet... Can I survive a higher dose of this?  This is just too good... too perfect.  But... bring it on baby 'cause I've been waiting!

Don't Let Me Close My Eyes

Don't let me fall asleep and miss the chance to hear your voice

I have so many things to say

Things you've heard from me a thousand times before

Let me just tell you, again how much I care, my love

Baby, please don’t let me!

Don't let me close my eyes and lose the thought of us together

Kiss me, touch me, hold me, wake me

I don’t want to forget the things right now you're saying

Rest is worthless when my source of energy's your voice

Your love, your words, because you're something else!

Long day it feels like, until I make it home

If love is something you can hear, I hear it in your songs

Don't let me fall asleep and lose my inspiration

Sleepy head but you still got me at attention

I might feel weak, my body might be tired

But this heart and mind have been awake for a while

You’ve stayed on my mind since the day we met

Things we said and did I’ll never be able to forget

And if I sleep, I hope to dream of those moments

When you and I walked and smiled, staring at each other

A love like this is out of this world rare!

Every time I talk to you I can’t help but feel so blessed

And when I'm with you, a blink is just a waste

I’ve waited long enough to finally get a taste

If I do close my eyes and fall asleep

I hope to wake up to your voice once more

I know my love will grow tonight

Just when I think I can’t love you no more

But don't let me close my eyes baby, not without a kiss

Know that I'm here for you and I'm gonna fight for this

Don't let me fall asleep without a trip to heaven

You know I've fallen hard and I'm on this forever