in love

I'm not afraid to be myself and make mistakes... I know that at the end of the day I'm never going to be alone. I have God and I have my family. I can't play games or play the cards others expect me to play. I only have me, and I'm going to be myself no matter what. I can't think of anything more stressful than having to watch your every step to fulfill what society thinks you should be. It's exhausting. I love my life and I love the woman that I've become. It doesn't matter if no one falls in love with me ever... I've fallen in love with myself. It's the strongest relationship I've built and I plan on nourisihing it till the end of time.

It meant more than I'd like to admit now...

Sept 26 2011 - Oct 30 2012

It hurts. It really does... I still think of him daily... I still cry sometimes. It's been easier because, well, I've done this over and over... and it's easier because I am so busy. I really put so much on my plate so that I wouldn't crumble... and it's working. I guess what hurts the most is knowing that he left not knowing anything about me... or how I felt. Not understanding the depth of my feelings for him. I don't blame him... I wasn't quite the person that I know I am. I think I was in a fog. I, however, better than ever understand how deep I can love. He means so much to me... more than I'd like to admit... more than I can handle. I have failed at grasping my feelings myself... I can't put it into words. I know it changed me... and I know it will always be a part of me one way or another. Team Suzie Q ends here.