Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Soy Un Extraño



Soy Un Extraño:


Soy un extraño a la fe que mi madre me enseñó

Soy un extraño al Dios que escuchaba mis suplicas y llanto

Soy un extraño al consuelo de las oraciones que aprendi de niño

A los brazos eternos que recibieron a mi padre cuando partió


Cuando el gran mundo, me llamó con sus señuelos

Lo abandone todo para seguirlo

Sin notar jamas en mi ceguera

Que mi mano ya no estaba en la suya


Jamas soñe en mi aturdimiento

Que la fama es una gran burbuja....un vacío

Que la riqueza del oro no es mas que oropel

Mas ahora lo se!


He pasado una vida buscando

Lo que luego desdeñe

He luchado y recibido muchas recompensas

Pero todo lo daría


Fama y fortuna, y todos los placeres que la acompañan

Si lograra tener la Fe

Que modeló el caracter de mi madre!



(By Blanca Garcia, my mom)





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Trabaja y Persevera.


Lo que no logres hoy,

Quiza mañana lo lograras

No es tiempo todavia

Nunca el breve termino de un dia

Madura el fruto, ni la espiga grana

No son jamas en la labor humana

Vano el afan, ni inutil la porfia

El que con fe y valor lucha y confia

Los mayores obstaculos allana.


Trabaja y persevera, que en el mundo

Nada existe rebelde, ni infecundo

Para el Poder de Dios, o el de Su idea

Hasta la esteril y deforme roca

Es manantial cuando Moises la toca

Y estatua cuando Fidias la golpea.



(Not sure who wrote this last one)

Mistakes


Sometimes the best way to retain our happiness and sanity after making a mistake is to learn to accept the consequences of the action, letting go and moving on.  But many times we are obstinate and pretend to fix things by dwelling on it, apologizing, hoping for a new chance, investing so much time and energy into it when in reality it’s not very likely that you’ll ever go back to the original state.  When one truly learns from the mistake, he learns to forgive himself and moves on.  What is the point in dwelling?  No good comes from it.  In many cases things get worse before they get better.  Healing isn’t up to the person causing the wound, healing is up to the person who’s been hurt; they must learn to forgive and truly forget.  We can’t go beyond ourselves to correct a mistake when there are two people involved. 
I wish I was stronger than this.  This is what I’ve learned lately though.  Things aren’t now what I expected or wanted them to be; not even close!  Sometimes I think that it’s a little too late, now that there are feelings inside that just won’t disappear overnight.  But I also remember how I felt before, and well… I was happier.  I’m left with options on the table… and right now, the most logical, and smartest one is to just love me.  Love Just me.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Beyond

I know I have the strength within me, to face my struggles and overcome my challenges.  I know there are no real reasons to be sad, for there is love all around me.  I am blessed and I know I sometimes forget this; but my family, my friends, my health, my job, my circumstances, my experiences, my strength, my mind, my knowledge, my hopes and dreams, my divine nature… they all account for the privileged life I live.  I know I need moments like this to reflect on what I’ve been given, and I must always remember to count my blessings any time I feel like there is something missing because there really isn’t.   The cards I’ve been dealt are more than fair, I must be grateful.  I’ve been remembering experiences from my past; my sisters’ words come to my mind.  They both know me so well, and I am thankful they have lived longer than I have for they give me words of wisdom and good advice.  I know the potential to become the best I can be lies within myself.  I know I am capable and strong enough to achieve success in this life.  I know I must be happy with myself, love myself no matter what, so that I can love others.  I know us humans beings aren’t meant to be alone, but I also know that people come and go; I know we must learn to let go and understand that although we can’t forever be lonely, we can’t render the responsibility of our happiness to another person.  We are all meant to learn from each other.  It is wise and remarkable to be able to grasp understanding of every situation we encounter.  I know true happiness lies within my own mind and heart.  I know that if I have God in my life, there won’t be anything else missing, for He provides what we need to find joy.  I feel rejuvenated today, I slept well.   I had an amazing dream, and then I understood that our dreams can be just as real.  I feel strong.  I feel like I can appreciate my life more now that I have opened my heart.  I woke up stronger; I woke up alone but didn’t feel alone.  I don’t feel lonely today… I feel the love.  I’ve been thinking about my sisters and I picture them smiling.  I miss them so much.  I can’t believe how much I’ve been blessed to have them in my life.  What used to feel like normal day to day interaction is now a treasure I value deeply.  Those moments I spent with them, with my parents, with my nephews and niece… those are the moments that come to my mind when I think of joyful happy moments.  I’ve let myself get distracted by emotional, dramatic, uncertain romanticism, when I should embrace the life I’m living and enjoy the new experiences.  I must remember what is important to me and never lose the focus.  I remembered also when I was teaching kids about perseverance.  I remember telling them that it’s hard for us to keep focused and firm on what’s important, because we lose our vision… or perhaps because we can’t exactly envision the reward we will be given if we chose the right.  We lose faith because we can’t see past this life, but I remember telling them to strive to look far beyond what these eyes can see; our spirit and our potential is eternal… and we can close our eyes, and open our hearts and elevate our minds and spirits to heights never before imaginable.  We create our own heaven… we know what true happiness will mean to us, we see ourselves around the people we love the most, our families… what better blessing than to continue to share experiences with them forever.  I am so grateful.  I am so thankful for knowing what I know, believing what I believe, having what I have, and for loving and being loved for those special people in my life.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Amor Del Malo

El amor es una espada de dos fílos.  Puede elevarte al glorioso cielo o hundirte en el infierno.  Puede dar sentido a tu vida y dirección a tu existencia, o puede perderte en la amarga obscuridad de la noche.  Te hace plenamente felíz, y te quita lo conforme.  O te causa fuerte tristeza, y desamparo.  Amas y Odias y no entiendes la diferencia.  O pasas del odio al amor en un abrir y cerrar de ojos.  Sí, es pasional sin objetividad alguna.  Es el amor del malo del que yo hablo.  Es la emoción ilógica, efímera pero profunda.  Es amor por que es el que mas se siente, como a carne viva.  Sí, también es odio por que el desamor te rasga el alma.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Trust

Trust is something that can be shattered in pieces so easily; something so hard –if not impossible- to win back.  I know how bad it feels when someone betrays your trust.  I, myself, have betrayed and lost someone else’s trust.  I wish there was a way to heal the wounds, or turn back time.  I wish I knew then what I know now, but more importantly, I wish I felt then, what I feel now.  There is no excuse or anything to justify a lie, perhaps there isn’t even a way to justify the fact that I never meant to lose that trust.  “I didn’t mean it,” just won’t cut it.  I didn't lie, I told the truth, but it was a harsh truth that maybe made me lose you.  My mind was elsewhere, far away from where yours was.  I saw things way different than you, that’s why I did what I did.  No, I’m not saying it was right, I’m not saying it wasn’t a mistake.  All I’m saying is, when I did the things I did to lose your trust, it never crossed my mind that it in fact mattered so much to you.   Different perception of things, I guess.  I didn’t even believe what you said you felt.  I was just impaired.  But no, it’s not always a lie that causes the loss of trust.  Many times, simple, not thought-through actions like mine are the ones that break what could’ve been a great friendship or connection.  But just like the action might have been interpreted different from person to person, so do the apologies.  They never go as far as we’d like them to go.  Words can’t change things; sometimes, not even actions can.  I guess all there is to do stand up, deal with it, manage, and maybe eventually learn to let go and move on... or hope that the long journey leads to a genuine reconciliation.  The wait just really sucks.

Friday, May 8, 2009

May We


May we never find ourselves drowning in the emptiness of a selfish life.
May we find strength to change, turn around and say goodbye to a life of lies.
May we hold our loved one’s hand and with tears express how much they mean.
May we run and not be tired of our pace so that we might see more, and live more.
May we forgive and forget, for the pain stays in for as long as we allow it to.
May we not only talk the talk, but walk the walk, and never give up.
May we look at the sky and know that there is indeed something bigger than us.
May we be grateful for that.
May we never get bitter, may we always get better.
May we learn to enjoy the moments of solitude for they help us find ourselves.
May we never long for someone so much that we forget to appreciate anything else.
May we smile and remember the moments that brought us joy yesterday and today.
May we write and leave a legacy behind to those who will always care.
May we ignite the fire of a meaningful life through serving others, loving others.
May we stop judging and start hugging and kissing those around us.
May we grow past our imperfections and stop justifying our actions.
May we believe that we can be perfect and pure.
May we have the enthusiasm to work and persist in our days.
May we have compassion in our hearts , the kind that lasts forever.
May we learn from it all, and grow from it all.
May we live loving forever.
May we love living forever.