Fate

Fate

I believe in fate.  I believe we cross paths with people we're meant to meet.  I believe fate plays a role in our life, but I also believe it only leads us certain ways… to have us then make choices.  It's not just about fate.  They say that everything has been written; It's not that we're controlled… it just means that we are known.  The choices we will make are known to Him who created us.  Fate is nothing we can control, but our destiny is the outcome of the decisions that we make after we aknowledge where fate has brought us.  Destiny is where we are led after we make a choice.  We choose what we will live, we have that power.  We can let others influence, or not.  We can many times forget what brought us to where we are, but the choices that we make today are the roads that will lead us to where we will be tomorrow.  We might not remember, we might have chosen to forget, but the choices we made yesterday, are what led us to where we stand now.  I believe in fate… I believe things happen for a reason.  I believe we have so much to do with our destiny.  I believe we choose our paths.  I believe we have the power to control our destiny.  I believe in love, I believe in peace.  I am perhaps vulnerable…  but someone once said "There is strength through vulnerability."  Those of us who put our heart on the table, those of us who perhaps are idealists in  life, those of us who dream, those of us who are optimists… we can indeed be vulnerable to the pain of reality, but if we never dream, we will never achieve.  If we never love, we will never find peace.  If we never risk, we will never win.  If we never let people into our hearts again, we will never understand the true meaning of love.  If we accept reality, and the world as it is today, then we lack hope; we settle in the worst.  We stop doing the right thing.  We give up.  We choose what's easy versus what's right.  Then we will indeed lose.  I believe in fate, I believe in the power of our choices,  I believe we control our destiny, I believe in true love, I believe in hope, and I believe in peace.  I believe things are meant always to be.

True Love

True Love

True love goes beyond passion and attraction. 

True love is more than a feeling or emotion.

It is powerful and magestic.

It means accepting and understanding.

True love understands sacrifice,

Service and generosity.

It means forgiving and forgetting.

Because true love is given, not traded.

True love is amazing.

It's never killed by imperfection.

True love goes beyond what the eye can see.

It's a gift of God's creation.

True love is joy at his achievements.

True love is not having expectations.

It sometimes means letting go of him.

And that's a good demonstration.

True love is pure respect,

It's helping him with all you can.

True love's a non-stop devotion.

It goes far beyond death.

That Moment in Life

That Moment in Life

What does that really mean?  What does it mean to find ourselves?

There's a moment in life… when it seems like the whole world stops and we finally breathe.  That exact moment is when we let our guard down and when we face only ourselves (who sometimes is our meanest judge).  It's a moment when we get to know what we really want, or what really makes us happy;   That special moment is when we break down, when we open up our hearts to no one but us and God; it's the moment when we stop listening to what others have to say and we listen to our own heart.  That moment is when we become generous to ourselves.  It's a moment when we finally fly… or perhaps when we land.  That right there, is the moment when we finally find ourselves; it is when we stop "acting" to the rest of the world, and become who we really are.  That moment is when we stop reacting, and when we start living.  We become our own person, we stop doing things to deserve some other things in return.  It's when we realize those things that we love doing for our own desire, and when we start doing them just for us.  It's when we feel happy with ourselves, when we appreciate and accept who we truly are... and when nothing else matters.  

A Lesson by Nasrudin

A Lesson by Nasrudin
Category: Life

This week, in a book written by Paulo Coelho, I read about this man, Nasrudin. Some called him crazy, others called him freak and many others considered him a wise man, a teacher, an inspiration. He was scheduled to appear to a large group of people in some kind of inspirational conference. There were about 17,000 tickets sold and the mass of people arrived at the auditorium quite early to ensure their seat. The hours went by and more people gathered un to wait for their "master." Once the time finally arrived, someone announced the two hour delay of Nasrudin's arrival. Many got upset at this and were very dissapointed; they claimed a refund and left. There were some patient followers who waited hours because they considered it a great honor to be taught by this man. The impatient ones left. The crowd was reduced to a few hundred people. Finally, Nasrudin arrived. He was dressed very informally and appeared to be drunk. He directed harrassing comments to a girl expectator about the way she was dressed. He was very disrespectful. Most of the people who witnessed this, felt humilliated, enraged and decided to leave after they got their money.  They were dissapointed by his manner.  Nasrudin passed out on the floor in front of a remainding small group of people.  All of a sudden he stands up, completely sober and powerful and says to these people: "You, who have stayed… are the ones who deserve to listen.  You overcame the two most difficult obstacles in the true way to spirituality: patience to wait for the right time, and the courage to not be disappointed with what you find.  To you, I will teach."  And Nasrudin went on teaching and preaching to these people about great truths of life.

The lesson of this short story is very simple.  I know it's something that I needed to reflect on.  Patience and courage: two great virtues that build our character and enhance our soul.  I learn that patience is more than just waiting, more than just expecting; patience is about faith and hope; faith is about optimism.  Courage to endure is more than tolerating, more than accepting.  It's about embracing, understanding, forgiving and evolving.  We grow when we have the courage to let go,  to move on, to endure.  May you reflect on these things and be enlightened by this message… just like I was.  I love you all.

I Have it All

I Have It All

I chose to write about this, mostly for myself.  I'm sure this will get to many of you and maybe even make you realize a few things, but still, the reason why I wrote this, is for me to refer back to when I'm feeling down… or just going through one of those moments when I start complaining about what I don't have.

Wouldn't you agree that many –if not, most- people have problems?  Wouldn't you agree that those problems are mostly because of things that we lack of?  Whether It's money, or things, or a good job, or a great relationship, or a great physique, it seems like we are just very hard to please.   Seems like nothing's ever good enough; and things just keep getting worse.  Don't get me wrong… I'm not saying we should be content or be mediocre in life, but what I'm really trying to say is: we have so much, we have so much more than most people in the world, we are so blessed, we don't have as big of problems (trust me on this one) as other people in the world… what the hell are we bitching about?

If you're reading this it probably means that you own a computer.  If you don't, you at least have access to one.  Do you know that this fact makes you be part of the fortunate 1% of the world's population?  Only 1% of the world's population owns a computer.  Did you know that only 50% of the world's population is literate?  It means that if you're actually reading this, you are again, part of the lucky portion.  It's amazing.

Did you have something to eat today?  Wow, did you have two meals already?  Do you have a roof over your head?  Do you have clothes?  Are you healthy?  Do you have loved ones around you?  Do you have a cell phone to call them? Are you happy? Aren't those things enough to make us happy?

No.  I keep complaining about being alone.  I complain about gas prices.  I complain about my work schedule, about my interest rates, about being too hot, or too cold, about my family being away, or my crush not being single.  What the fuck?  Pardon my language, but I really dislike myself right now.

It only takes a moment for us to realize that we really are among the blessed.  We have freedom.  We have it all.  We have so much more than enough.  I am so blessed.  When was the last time I helped someone?  I don't even know.  I'm not doing enough.  Where is my heart?  Why do I feel so lonely and incomplete?  I do not love enough.    Don't I complain about being so open and caring, yet being single and forgotten?  Well, the truth is… if I'm lonely and sad, it's really because I've stopped loving others.  If I didn't love just myself I would be complete.  It's time to move on and appreciate what we've been given... and give back!  We have so much sometimes even without deserving it. 

I have it all

I Can Still Smell the Roses

I Can Still Smell The Flowers... I was at work when my mother called to give me the sad news. My 92 year old grandma passed away. I started crying right then, and felt deep grief. I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to be there and that killed me. I didn't call her on her last birthday... all sorts of thoughts crossed my mind about what I didn't do, or what I didn't say. I took a plane the next morning and my sister Dinorah met me at the airport when I landed. I was happy to see her and happy to know that I would see my mother as well, but sad about our loss. When we got to church, most of the family was there. I greeted everybody, and went to hug my mom. She was sad, but at the same time, I know she was at peace; that same feeling we all felt by the end of the day. There were so many flower arrangements all throughout the room, and it made it smell so nice. I can still smell the flowers when I think about it. My cousin Doris played the piano beautifully... it must have been the occasion, but every note touched my heart. Her daughters were singing like angels, and I just cried. Everybody did. We would miss her, but we knew that she was now in a better place, a step ahead of us, and that brought tears of joy and peace to our hearts. I know that everyone there felt the spirit testify that God really is a God of love. I know that everyone there felt that there really is a plan of love for each of us, and that we are all together, in a big family, and that one day we will all be together forever. What a blessing is to know these things, and what a blessing it is to feel the love of God. As I looked at everybody in the room, I couldn't help but think about those blessings we all shared for being a part of my grandmother's family. What we had been taught, what we knew, who we were, who we are, who we will become... how everything has come to be... because of who my grandmother was and what she did... the decisions she made... and when she got married, the decisions they made. As I looked at her, with my mother beside me, laying there so small and pretty, I cried. Her face was beautiful; and so were her rosy cheeks. Her eyes were closed but no longer sunk and sad. Her hair was combed and her eyebrows raised. She looked like an angel with her pink lips closed. Her hands were pale, and were placed over her midsection. The two hands were not touching each other like one would expect; one rested above the other... as if she were about to rise it to caress you. She was wearing her special white dress which hugged her body so perfectly. There was a white rose placed by her. I can't express how much I love her. I will miss her so much. She was born on May 20th, 1916. My mother was born the same day in 1952. We always said she was her birthday present. Those two women had a lot in common. Those two women mean so much to me. They always did and they always will. They suffered the worst of pains, the loss of a young son. Both of them around 7 years of age. I can't even begin to understand the pain they must have felt. I always think of them as the strongest women I know, because I know they have felt a portion of God's pain, by seeing their son die. But today she's with her son. She's also with her husband and her parents and siblings. One day, my mom will be with her son as well. What a blessing to know that this is indeed true, that we are all to be together forever. There is no doubt that the women of our family share a special bond. We are all alike... we really are our mother's daughters and we are our grandmother's granddaughters. My mother was reading the scriptures while sitting beside me; she was reading ALMA 40: 11-12. Then she stopped to tell me a story about grandma. Later, my mother got up to speak. She shared her feelings and talked about life and death. She said something that touched my heart: "My mother was blind, but I know that today… she can see. She is in a place full of light." I know this is true. She talked about the virtues of that woman. She expressed her love and her testimony of the gospel. She was thankful that her mother made the decision to follow the Lord, and teach her children about His love as well. My grandma was a very honest person. Two other members of the ward spoke. They all talked about Jesus Christ. I felt the spirit so strong that day, and I felt humble. I felt so blessed and so peaceful. I can't believe how special we really are to our Heavenly Father. As I heard their words, I remembered the reason why I am here in this Earth. They spoke about life, and how this is a period for us to be tested and to prove that we can have faith in God. We must use our days wisely to be able to see God again and be welcomed by Him. After the funeral, we went to the cemetery to bury her. Once again, another man spoke. He asked us all, as he held a red rose, to remember our grandmother forever. He asked us to not let her memory died, as that rose would die. He asked us all to talk about her and her virtues to our children and grandchildren. I cried. A few days later, before my flight back home, I went to the beach with my mother and my uncle. My mother and I were looking at the ocean and she said something to me that made me feel so special. She talked to me about the Creation, and how God had made this place for us. She said that God had created this place, so perfectly, and cited some scriptures about the oceans and its limits, and the birds of the sky and the beasts of the earth, and about how men would rule over them and how we were created to His image. How special we are indeed to our Heavenly Father. How blessed we are to be alive and have this body and the opportunity to accept Him in our hearts and our lives. I love my mother, and I love my grandmother. I am them; I will always be them in so many ways. I wish I could hold them both and tell them that I thank their sacrifices and their unconditional love, forever.

Moving to Utah

Coming to Utah

Hey all!

Well, it's been a while since I've written, and since I can't sleep tonight, and my homework's done, I decided to update this thing and tell you a few things about the last few months of my life.  As you all know, I moved to Utah from Indiana about five months ago.  Many of you know about my long journey.  LOL.  Well, in case you don't, here it is.

 I left Indiana on my new ride (2002 Jeep Liberty) that I had bought about five days before.  I left on January 8^th.  I was supposed to start work on the 10^th.  I know, I know, did I mention I'm a procrastinator?  Anyways, yes, I left in a hurry and had to drive the whole way straight only resting for a couple hours on the way.  I had never driven so much in my life, but I was relieved when I made it to Wyoming.  I was about 100 miles from Salt Lake City when I got into an accident.  Luckily, I wasn't hurt, but my Jeep got totaled.  It was technically my fault, although I was driving very slowly.  I hit a utility truck in front of me after hitting the break and sliding into it due to black ice on the road. 

The roads in Wyoming were horrible.  I can't believe they weren't plowed or sanded.  It was very frustrating and I was very freaked out.  I was crying and nobody seemed to care; the police officer was very indifferent and even gave me a citation.  It happened in the middle of nowhere, up in the mountain roads.  It's one of the worst experiences I've been through.  I filed my insurance claim that same day, didn't tell anybody back home to not have them freaking out.  Some guy took me to a nearby motel so I could spend the night there, since the Insurance company was unable to send a rental my way.  They said that no company would send one that far away.  Yes, it was really in the middle of nowhere.  Anyways, the guy from the shop (his name is Glade) was very nice and helpful.  He told me where the nearest restaurant was and informed me about my vehicle and what he thought they would have to do.  He actually contacted his dad (Keith) and asked him to give me a ride all the way to Layton, Utah (about 150 miles). 

I cried most of that day.  I felt lost and confused about my decision… wondering if it had been a right choice to leave everything behind for something that seemed so uncertain.  I knew I wanted to get away and start over, meet new people, see new places, experience new things, but was it really worth it?  I finally made it to Layton.  On our way, Keith talked to me about his life.  I didn't ask his age, but he was probably in late 60's or early 70's.  He drove fast! This had me tense the whole way there.  He talked to me about how he almost died in a motorcycle accident; somehow the motorcycle landed on his head and smashed it.  He told me about two other serious car accidents he was involved in, one in which a girl died, and another one where is arm was cut severely.  I was freaking out! I was like  - Dude, stop the vehicle and I'll just walk there!- Ok no, just playing. LOL.  But I was still very stressed and concerned about the things I had to deal with next.

I finally made it to my apartment, got my keys and all that good stuff.  Of course, I didn't have a lot of things with me when I drove here.  Most of my stuff was being delivered by a moving company (wait till you hear that part!).  I got to my place, got some clothes put away in the closet and just laid on the floor crying my eyes out.  My friend Bernardo came over and was very supportive.  He took me to the store so I could get some things.  Just being able to talk to someone about my experience was relieving.  He offered to help me, and ever since I've been here, he has not changed his willing-to-serve attitude and kindness.  I had to postpone my first day of work to take care of my rental car and my insurance claim.  The insurance company was awesome! (Liberty Mutual) They were quick about the whole process; they followed up almost every day, and gave me $2,000 more than what I had paid for my vehicle.  Unfortunately, I couldn't get the same deal here than I got in Indiana.  Anyways, I drove a PT Cruiser (which I honestly hated) for a few weeks until I bought myself another 2002 Jeep Liberty with fewer miles than the original.  I started work.  Here's the next bad part.

My furniture was supposed to arrive a few days after I moved in.  They sent my stuff to Florida by mistake!!!!!!!!! Noooo! Things were going bad.  They were absolutely horrible.  Horrible service, they gave me the runarounds, never got a straight answer, they refused to give me a discount and things like that.  That stupid company is based out of Chicago, IL and it's called Best Price Moving, so of course I do not recommend their services.  I got my stuff like three weeks later!  I slept on the floor until I twisted my neck really bad.  Then I went to Wal-Mart to get an inflatable mattress to get me by; it helped, somewhat. 

I started going out with my friends Bernardo and Felipe.  I met Felipe a few days after I got here.  They were awesome.  We were out on a Singles Activity, when my PT Cruiser rental car broke down.  Well, it worked fine, except that it would not go reverse!  I didn't have my new Jeep then.  They were closed since it was at night.  Luckily, I had the next day off and that's when I went and bought my other Jeep Liberty.

Finally, my furniture arrived, I got all settled in, I had my new Jeep, work was going well, and everyone was nice.  Things started looking better.  They have been getting better and better as time goes by.  I still miss my family and get homesick, but I've also met incredible people and made new friends.  I'm happy that I'm here. 

The weather is getting nicer, my apartment is looking nicer as well, I'm healthy, work is going great, I'm making more money than I was in Indiana, I've had and will have the opportunity to travel more than I did before. 

I have been very blessed.  I know that all the adversity I faced happened for a reason.  There will always be opposition when we are doing the right thing.  The enemy is trying to discourage us and trying to dissuade us of doing what's right.  We should always remember this and be strong, and never give up.  I'm glad I wasn't hurt in the accident.  I know God was with me the whole way here.  When I had the accident, my Jeep stopped about 10 feet away from the edge of the road.  If I had been going a little bit faster, I would have fallen off the edge down the hill and it could've been way worse than it was.  That's why I feel so blessed.  I know something's in store for me here, and I'm not going to walk away from it for the bad things that have happened. 

It's been five months.  I feel great here.  I'm excited to be here and excited for what's coming.  I went back to school (something that wasn't part of my plan).  I've been saving up money.  I feel stronger and more independent than ever before.  I can't say that it's been me… I know I'm blessed by my Heavenly Father and I know everything is possible because of His great love for me.  Sometimes I feel unworthy of these blessings, but I strive to do well to others to give back.  I've been very blessed to have a best friend who made all of this possible (Ethan).  Ethan has also been with me all this time, way back… about two years ago.  So, I'm lucky and blessed to still have awesome friends and great people in my life.  And the new people I've met are awesome as well.  I have learned so much from each of them, I've had fun, I've danced, I've laughed, I've kissed, I've cried, I've had an awesome time with all of them. 

And this is just the beginning…