Visitor

How self centered of me to call myself an artist; as if I was worthy enough to own this creative genius or imaginative energy that flows through me from time to time -well, at least in my very own, small, constricted mind.  I know that the less I try to capture it, the more it will make itself present in my life.  I am nothing but a vessel.  It's not something one can borrow to carry around and pull out your pocket when one feels like it; it's more so as the breeze that kisses your skin in a warm summer day, or the gentle sigh of a sleeping baby you get to witness when the moment of silence is just right; it's elusive and conclusive.  It's the friend you miss.  It's also the one you despise if it decides to visit you in the most imprudent of times. 

I miss it.

Cuddling

I don't like to cuddle... I don't think.  But something about this battle between the vibration of your voice and the echo of your beating heart penetrating my ear as I lay on your chest...  It pulls me in.  It's exactly where I want to be.   It's ironic to feel so safe in the very place I'm the most vulnerable.

I love

I love when you stay quiet and you let me vent; you let me be.  Still you stare at me, with admiration in your eyes, with genuine love and tolerance.  I love how loved you make me feel.  I love this peace I feel.  I love how you step back and let me dance; as I close my eyes and raise my hands up to the sky, I dance my fears away.  I love your touch, and how you manage to caress my wings; these wings that captivated you from day one.   I love that you let me fly.  I love that you are not afraid of me, and not afraid that I would leave.  Why would I ever?  You not only let me be myself, you encourage me to reinvent whatever that may be.  I love that you are distant at times, and you challenge me to strategize another kiss... And I love that when you kiss me, I remember how mine you are and how mine you'll always be.

Hypnotic

You know how someone's smile can sometimes mute all background noise... and the sparkle in their eyes is so mesmerizing and hypnotic that it paralyzes you like a toxin... Like pure venom?  You wonder if what you're feeling is raw love or an excruciating unforgiving heart attack but you can't tell the difference... Do you know what I'm talking about? You gotta remind yourself to breathe...

Resistance

You will run and hide, but the truth is... You can't.  I reside in you... Somewhere along the inch of resistance you fight daily with... The corner of your subconscious... The pulpit of your anger... I am there.  I will never leave.  I am your creation... Your pounding curiosity... And your biggest of fears.

Love... Inexplicable

Perhaps the fact that you are nonexistent, and that you are nothing but a satisfying illusion (or delusion) of the very core of my intentions... Is the reason it is possible to express my deepest feelings.  The magnitude of my covenant of love for you is infinite... It will never cease to be.  It is this very love that built the universe, and I can only grasp but a fraction of it when I think of you.  I love you.  Not in the way we were taught to know about love, but in a deeper, limitless, meaningful way.  I love you knowing there isn't a word in any language which could fully describe this.  I love you in an inexplicable way... But I do.